where can I book a trip?

some bladin'

extra service

leap of faith

difference

annoy someone day

question

Australian map

snapshot

pie chart

whoopee

motivational

schoolin'

gotta go

big turtle

nailgun

babies

cool art

who made this?

Wish you were..

product development

nice..car

evil

intense

redneck II

out shopping

cars

nice

redneck life

wedding dress

Revised Stock Market Terms

CEO– Chief Embezzlement Officer


CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer


BULL MARKET– A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius


BEAR MARKET– a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


VALUE INVESTING– The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO– The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.


BROKER – What my financial planner has made me.


STANDARD & POOR– Your life in a nutshell.


STOCK ANALYST– Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT– When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.


MARKET CORRECTION– The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.


YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.


WINDOWS– What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR– Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT – an archaic word no longer in use.

WHY ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS CELEBRATED IN AMERICA EACH YEAR

The reason the Irish celebrate St. Patrick's Day is because this is when St. Patrick drove the Norwegians out of Ireland. It seems that some centuries ago, many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a famine at the time and food was scarce. The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in the area and leaving the Irish with nothing to eat but potatoes.

St. Patrick, taking matters into his own hands, as most Irishmen do, decided the Norwegians had to go. Secretly, he organized the Irish IRATRION (Irish Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians).

Irish members of IRATRION passed a law in Ireland that prohibited merchants from selling ice boxes or ice to the Norwegians, in hopes that their fish would spoil! This would force the Norwegians to flee to a colder climate where their fish would keep. Well, the fish spoiled, all right, but the Norwegians, as every one knows today, thrive on spoiled fish. So, faced with failure, the desperate Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves in the dead of night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian invaders.

But, as everyone know, the Norwegians thought this only added to the flavor of the fish and they like it so much they decided to call it "lutefisk", which is Norwegian for "luscious fish".

Matter became worse for the Irishmen when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop and making something callled "lefse". Poor St. Patrick was at his wit's end and finally on March 17th., he blew his top and told all the Norwegians to "GO TO HELL", So they all got in their boats and emigrated to Minnesota or the Dakotas--the only other paradise on earth where smelly fish, old potatoes and plenty of cold weather can be found in abundance. The End."

useful IV

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